Generation X: Balancing Consulting, Caretaking, and Loss

As I've continued to learn, grow, and mature through life's general teachings and curveballs, the years have been flying by rapidly, and I've come to the dreadful and unavoidable realization that most do in life. One that shows our childhood heroes -- parents and other parental figures -- facing inevitable health decline and beginning a final battle to keep their bodies strong and minds sharp. Many Gen Xers are in the middle of seeing this unfold firsthand, while many others are learning to cope with the loss of their loved ones.

At some point, the script flips and we suddenly take on new roles as caregivers to the people who raised us. What's worse: not everyone is prepared for this new role. It takes many of us by surprise while we may still be raising our children, aiming to take better care of our own health, and working full speed to support our families in a choppy post-pandemic economy.

The statistics are sobering; according to the 2020 report by National Alliance for Caregiving and the AARP, the typical caregiving Gen Xer is working an average 37.5-hour work week while spending 22.3 hours providing unpaid care in a moderate-to-high intensity situation for an adult loved one. The same report found that caregiving is moderate to highly emotionally stressful for Gen Xers, with many feeling they had no choice in taking on the role and being impacted financially.

Watching a parent's health decline and dealing with the eventual loss and repercussions can be one of the most challenging times of a person's life. So how are business leaders responding? And what happens when our leaders and consultants are going through it all at once?

Several members of the Collabry team have lost a loved one in the last 12 months—at times suddenly and at others after a long illness. Out of sad necessity, we have found ways to support one another by jumping in to cover project deliverables for another consultant, sharing resources, holding the space for one another, and sending care packages. And thanks to the strong and supportive client relationships, we've been able to navigate the sudden rough waters of loss. Collabry founder and CEO Rachel Formaro lost her father and business mentor, Paul, in September 2022. "I was so grateful for the love and support of our team and our clients," Rachel says." Being able to have the time to deal with the first shock of loss, and to be there for my own family, was something I will be forever thankful for."

Senior Writer Maggie Rush Vinciguerra also shared how grateful she is to work as an independent consultant and how different and far more flexible it is from a corporate in-office job. “In my last corporate job, everyone was preoccupied with the comings and goings of their coworkers. We sat in an open cubicle area, and that type of physical space, mixed with the personalities of the department and somewhat ‘big brother’ corporate culture, created a very toxic environment. As a consultant, I can feel much more present for my family – my kids and my aging parents. I can take my father in for a 10 A.M. doctor's appointment and pick my kids up from school at 3:00 P.M. as long as meetings aren’t scheduled in these time frames. And my client work speaks for itself; if I am behind on a deliverable and must take an hour to care for my daughter, I make up that time as quickly as possible later that day or early the next morning,” Maggie explains. “Consulting work helps reduce so much of the stress of being a working parent and caregiver, which in turn helps me be a better worker (and family member).”

I might fit a bit outside of Generation X (fitting in more with the micro-generation of Xennials, depending on which chart you go by). However, I can certainly relate and share how appreciative I am to be a Collabry employee. I manage my schedule much like Rachel, Maggie, and the other consultants do here. No toxicity here (thank goodness), only authenticity, a leader who prioritizes appropriate work-life balance, and a great support system at work to help better manage life outside of it. This can make all the difference in the world regarding both child and parent caretaking responsibilities.

If you're currently coping with a parent's health degeneration or the loss of a parent or spouse, please know you're not alone. Unfortunately, this can be a devastating and common reality for Generation X. Remember that self-care is vital, seek support when needed, and cherish your time and memories with your loved ones. Grief is an individual process, and it is about finding the resources and support that suit you best.

Everyone at Collabry is sending love and support to those and their families who are balancing these challenging milestones. You're doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for.